How to Host: Setting Up a Self Serve Cocktail Bar

December 04, 2022

I am telling you, emphatically: throw a cocktail party: why? Because it's FUN. And because a festive drinks bar is easy to do, sets the tone for your party, and gives people a little activity to break the ice.

There have been so many reasons not to gather in these past few years but this year, I quieted all of those voices in my head and decided that I'll make drinks, buy pizza, and invite people over. There are always reasons not to get together, but intimidation at hosting should never be one of them. I think a lot of folks skip entertaining because it seems hard, or the house doesn't feel big/good enough, or they aren't sure how to put it together. But not knowing how has never stopped me from doing much, and I hope it won't stop you from having people over. It's a skill like any other, great hosting, and it absolutely can be learned. And truly, the stakes are not THAT high: no one has ever left a party over an amateurish decor scheme, and if they have you don't want them there anyway, right?

The excuses to not get together are many, but let's nail this one thing: the cocktail bar. If you nail the drinks, in my experience, the rest of the party unfolds like a paper snowflake: every gathering is unique, and you never know what you're going to get until you open it up and see.

I've learned from the very best, our Grandma Nancy, whom I consider the blue collar Martha Stewart. And I'm here to share my hosting tips so you can set up the perfect, affordable, self serve cocktail bar at your next party.

We made the party happen at my house last night with hot toddies and a hot cocoa station and cheese, always cheese, before walking down to our town's parade. Please note there was not an elabrate snack board, because everyone only ever wants boursin, so just buy 2 or 3 of those little round devils and surround it with crackers and get on with the party. My husband is about 200% less social than I am, but even he likes bousin, and a good party, because it condenses his social interactions from a couple of months into one, satisfying, 5 hour portion size. So the kids and Troy were all on board and we hid the piles of mail and made the bed for people's coats and lit candles in the bathrooms. These are small, but important details of hosting. Don't forget them! We also planned to go to the parade as a perfect activity for everyone to enjoy so the hours didn't drag on at the house, but if you don't have an activity like that built in, I recommend having a simple game on deck like a saranwrap gift snowball game, a nylons and gold balls bowling course (so funny!) or a game of pictionary with holiday themed words written on slips of paper as guests enter the party.

Afterwards we ate take and bake pizza and a chili-esque soup I threw together with things from the freezer. Nothing fancy, and burning hot from the crockpot, but good. We put the kids in the rec room to watch movies and talked about everything we missed over the year. Guys- it would have been easy to skip hosting anything. I really had to jump in and decide to make it happen, mentally, you know? Hosting can seem hard. But the second I decided to do it, I felt a little more festive, and that joy built as I set up the drinks station with my thrift store platters and disposable dishes (I buy these on Amazon in bulk and keep them in the pantry, or take stock from our restaurant, the Soda Shop), got out the Christmas DVD's, and ordered pizzas. It was nothing fancy. But it meant a lot, to me, and to everyone who could make it. People are truly waiting to be invited. They will enjoy themselves. They will love your party. I can't stress that enough. Final tips: your house should be clean...ish (I swept, but didn't even vaccum), festive...ish (again, I go to goodwill for Christmas wreaths and garlands and brought some pine tree branches inside), and when a kid asks for a ziploc baggy, you get one. That's really all there is to hosting!

Oh, and drinks. People want good drinks.

Here's the basic building blocks of the drinks stations I set uptypically, including a shopping list for different themed cocktails you can add in. But please, know this: no one cares if you only buy vodka, and if you don't line your bottles up in perfectly symetrical rows like I did for these photos. The most important thing is that people are fed, warm, and have something to drink. Include GOOD non-alcoholic options, always. And have fun! If you don't, others won't either. The host sets the tone. Let it be easy.

For example, here is me having fun:

Your jobs as a host or hostess:

have fun
show people where the bathroom is
break the ice and make the first drink and the first introduction, as needed. Some folks will jump on in, some you may need to help feel welcome.
not required but highly recommended: start the night with an empty dishwasher, and fill it/run it before you go to bed. i like to do this with the music still on, eating a leftover cookie, and reminiscing about the few hours that just passed and thinking pointless little things like how "next year, I should really buy fresh cilantro to chop and add to the chili-esque soup."

Photos by Rylea Foehl Photography

The Simple Goodness Self-Serve Cocktail Bar Station

What to purchase for a group of 12 people making their own basic cocktails (multiply for larger gatherings, and know that my crowd typically drinks a couple of cocktails each and then switches to beer, coffee, or soda):

Pro tips: Include a recipe card or a handwritten note on the bar with one of our recipes, for inspiration for guests who are less familiar with drink making. Drinks can easily be made alcoholic or non-alcoholic, so they're friendly for multiple ages and diets.

2-3 spirits (at least one clear, one dark)
optional: 2-3 liqueurs like Cointreau, Maraschino liqueur, amaro, and vermouth
3 bottles sparkling wine
2-3 Simple Goodness Sisters syrups in a variety of flavors
1 bottle bitters- angostura, or citrus
3 limes, 3 lemons, sliced into wheels and placed in a bowl
120 ounces of club soda. I use a soda stream or buy 12 ounces glass Mineragua bottles.
a jigger or shot glass for measuring
3 bags of ice (I keep them in a cooler on the front porch to easily refill an ice bucket)
optional: garnishes like dried citrus, cocktail cherries, olives

Or lean into a theme, like a Hot Toddy Station:

Pro tips: Include a recipe card or a handwritten note on the bar with this recipe for inspiration for guests who are less familiar with drink making. Drinks can easily be made alcoholic or non-alcoholic, so they're friendly for multiple ages and diets.

2 bottles of whiskey
1 bottle Rhubarb Vanilla Bean syrup, 1 bottle Lemon Herb syrup, 1 bottle of Apple Pie syrup, or at least 2 total syrups
optional: 24 tea bags, non-caffeinated, in a ginger or spice flavor
3 lemons, sliced into wheels and placed in a bowl
2 gallons of hot water. Boil water on the stove or in a crockpot and serve with a ladle, or transfer into an insulated thermos
a jigger or shot glass for measuring
a spoon to stir
24 disposable hot cups and lids, or 12 mugs
optional: garnishes like dried citrus, cinnamon sticks

SEE MY HOT TODDY STATION REEL ON INSTAGRAM

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